A Bigger Ask

Posted on Fri Oct 16th, 2026 @ 4:13am by Lieutenant Kally Kellerman & Michelle Erilin

3,081 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Interim 3: Subspace Drift
Location: Michelle's Quarters
Timeline: The Evening Before SB16

Kally had barely slept in the last few days. Finding out Tessa was having twins almost felt like an hallucination, but one check with the medical computer confirmed her mind hadn't made it up. She almost cried when she closed the last report and realized that the medical database was not only up to date, but was audit-worthy.

Then she did cry, as the emotions of everything she'd felt in the last two weeks came crashing down on her as the adrenaline of time-crunch panic wore off. She sat behind her desk and ugly cried for almost ten minutes straight before she got herself together.

When the feelings finally passed, she took a few deep breaths and got herself centered. She had so much off her plate, it was almost disorienting, but there was one thing that kept nagging at her mind. She and Alex had had several long talks in between checkups and she didn't let it show at the time, but she was upset by them. She wasn't sure who she could talk to about it, and she'd been telling herself for most of the past several days that she was worrying over nothing. Now that she had time to really focus on the thought, she wasn't so sure.

She considered talking to Cally about it, he was her First Officer after all, but a talking to and a roll in the sheets wasn't going to solve this. If it could, she'd have done it already. Hell, after his dinner with Michelle he'd have been on cloud nine.

She sat upright and snapped her fingers. She wiped her eyes again, touched up her makeup and rushed out of her office and into the corridor. She paused as she realized she'd never been to Michelle's quarters and had to look up their location, then rushed again to a turbolift.

A moment later, she was outside Michelle's quarters, ringing the chime.

"One minute, please." The voice came through the door and true to her word, it was just shy of a minute before the door slid open to reveal the slightly shorter brunette still adjusting her kimono over her shoulders before her hands automatically went to the sash that would tighten it around her waist, even while her eyes looked at Kally and the rest of her body froze. She had talked with Kally a handful of times at the Hydra, but it had always been in company of Aunt Cally. There wasn't any antipathy between them, but there hadn't been much interaction between them. "Good evening, what can I help you with?"

"Hi, Michelle," Kally said, suddenly self-conscious. "Could I come in? I need to talk to you about something."

Michelle paused for a second, "Of course, where are my manners?" She dipped her head in apology before backing away from the entrance to allow the doctor in, expertly and idly tying the knot to the kimono into a four-petal bow, "Can I get you any refreshments? I do have some dried tea and it won't be a problem to heat the kettle, or I could make you some coffee?"

"I don't think caffeine is what I need right now," Kally said, wringing her hands. She'd never seen Michelle's quarters, but they looked comfortable and tastefully decorated. She realized there were some personal effects, but it looked beautiful enough to be lived in, but still professional enough to welcome any guest. She gave a small nod of appreciation and then paused at a framed picture on the wall. It was Michelle, nude with a whisp of silk wrapped around her, staring off into the stars. Kally recognized the artist's style immediately, and it only confirmed her decision. "I'm worried about Alex," she said, turning back to Michelle.

The saucer that Michelle had started to pull out of the cabinet clattered on the counter before she recovered and settled it down to reach for the cups next as she composed herself rather than turn on the spot and betray her instant concern at the words, "Why are you worried about him?" She asked, holding her emotions close, hoping her voice didn't waver as her hand had.

"We've been...working through some things," Kally said. "Buried some hatchets, mended some old wounds and such. I don't know how much he's told you about it, but...well after our last session, he confided in me about some things, including about his ex wife and when we were at the academy and...I don't know, maybe I'm being irrational, but I'm worried about him being on Earth all alone."

"He didn't tell me anything about the relationship between you and himself. It wasn't and isn't any of my business." Michelle's hands went through the making of the decaffeinated tea automatically, "He did tell me a little about his ex-wife and especially about his sister in the hospital. I was planning on sending a subspace message to him after my recertification." She chose not to mention the booking, because that wasn't any of Kally's business. Literally.

Kally's eyebrows went up in surprise, but she supposed it made sense. If he'd told her about his time with Michelle she would've been interested, but then that's just how she was, and she wasn't normal in that regard. "I'd hoped he'd confided in you," she said. "Forgive me for being personal, I know your profession, and I don't want to step on any toes or insert myself where I don't belong, but given it's someone we both care about, I wanted to get your thoughts on the matter. I'm just concerned that if he's on Earth and it's too much for him, he'll have no one to turn to. And if he sees her again, I don't know if he'll handle it well."

For the first time that she could remember accepting a visitor of any kind in her quarters, whether the 'working' quarters off the lounge, or these, her private ones, Michelle turned away from the tea that she'd been making and abandoned it completely. "I don't know either." She admitted, "For the record, my profession is far more than providing sexual services for people, we Courtesans are often there just to listen to people, to understand them on a level that their colleagues or even friends and family just can't." She moved to the table and sat down, "For privacy reasons, I cannot divulge any of the details of the sessions I have had with Alex, but I'm worried about him too, on a personal level."

Kally gave her a small smile. "That's all right, I think I know enough details to have an understanding. And I did a little research into your profession. I have some idea of what you provide, and I'm glad to have you to help. I'll admit, I've thought of coming to you to talk more than once, but I didn't know how to approach it." She paused, realizing she was getting off topic. "But while talking with him, he made it clear you were someone who understood him, so I wanted to talk to you about my concerns."

"First off, coming to me is as simple as walking into the Hydra and saying 'Hello'. My services are gratis to all Starfleet personnel as a part of the contract I signed with the Captain, although I maintain the right to refuse services at my own discretion. I still require a contract, but there is no charge." Michelle made a throwaway gesture, "But just to talk, it's really easy. What can I do to help?"

Kally blushed, realizing Michelle was right. "I'm sorry," she said. "I have not been as good of a friend as I should have. But that's for another time. To help Alex?" She sighed and gave a shrug. "I'm genuinely not sure. Would you be able to get to Earth quickly after you're recertification? Maybe drop in on him and make sure he isn't miserable the whole trip?"

“From where I’m going, it would be two or two and a half weeks to Earth, and he was saying he expected to be back a week after my own current plans are scheduled for..” Michelle informed Kally, then bit her lip as the kettle on the stove started to whistle, but she didn’t react at all to it, “I could just go to Earth and recertify there, it’ll be a bit awkward to adjust my travel plans with the Guild, but I could do that.”

Kall looked at her. "If...if you were sure it wouldn't jeopardize your position in any way," she said. "Could you?"

“Our plans are often waylaid by situations out of our control.” Michelle said carefully, “This one… Not so much, but I think I can spin it. I may have to pull a bunch of strings to change my flight reservations, but there’s usually berths for traveling Courtesans on the Guild affiliated liners like the Pearl..” Suddenly she heard the whistle and bolted to her feet to take the kettle off, opening a drawer for a pot holder and seeing the PADD she slid in there the previous night. She poured the water in a ceremonial way into the cups, bringing them over and placing one just so in front of Kally. “I will ask one thing of you for this.”

"Of course," Kally said. "Name it."

“After we’re all back and off to wherever we’re sent to next, come and visit from time to time?” Michelle’s smile grew warm as she finally picked up the cup of tea, savoring the heat of it, “You are pretty damned close to family right now, what with you and my aunt dating, so I really would like to get to know you better. More than just another face in the lounge.”

Kally smiled, genuinely this time, and nodded. "Happily," she said. She picked up her teacup and took a sip. "I am sorry to put a burden on you, I just...needed someone who I know affects him and can get through to him if he's in a mood."

"Even if you said no, I'd still do it." Michelle said quietly, "And it's just because Alex has been my best and most consistent client on board. That's not a violation of confidentiality, mind you."

Kally looked at her over the top of her cup. "That's not quite the whole truth either, is it?" she said, her usual twinkle of mischief back in her eye.

"No, no it isn't." Michelle admitted, not even trying to hide it.

"Alex sketched Katie and I the other day," Kally said, casually. "And he showed us some of his other works. There was only one he reflexively smiled at." She glanced at the sketch on Michelle's wall.

Michelle found her cup to be very interesting, but only for a few seconds before she raised them again, "It's not illegal, you know, not even against Guild Rules, just unofficially frowned upon."

Kally grinned. "Given we live on the USS Frowned Upon, I'd say you're in good company there."

“Except for one problem: Conflict of interest.” Michelle placed the cup back on the saucer, “Its not against the rules, it’s frowned upon, but practicality would be that…” She looked distraught, looking down at the table, “I can’t tell him, Kally. Sure, I’m his favorite Courtesan, because I’m the ONLY one on board right now. For the next week, he’s going to be on a cruise liner with some of the top notch Courtesans in the Guild, who will perform my duties better than I can, here. I can’t let myself fa- Be attracted to someone who may not be interested in anything more than what we already have. If I do, I’m setting myself up for disappointment and more. And then it would affect my work life after.”

"I can understand that. It certainly affected me." She sipped her tea quietly. "Well, we can treat this like schoolgirls and I can just go ask him if he like-likes you and wants to take you to the school dance next week." She gave Michelle a teasing smile.

“And if he said yes, then he’d be risking his career on my behalf. No.” Michelle shook her head, “Starfleet has no problems with the Guild, on a regular basis, but one of the Girls or Guys becoming romantically attached? Then that makes the officer, especially senior officers, a potential target for blackmail or compromising. And if I were reassigned by the Guild, when they can do, yes, then what?”

Kally frowned and reached over, flicking Michelle less than gently on the forehead. "He cares about you! This isn't a hypothetical! I don't care how many courtesans or blondes or whoever get their hands on him, there's only one person who makes him smile like that and it sure as hell isn't me."

"I know he cares about me!" Michelle objected, "I'm half-Betazoid, I'd have to be fucking mind-blind not to know that he does!" She realized she'd just sworn towards Kally, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way, I just.. "

"Let your passions bypass your filter," Kally said, nodding. "Happens to me all the time. No apologies necessary." She sipped her tea. "Michelle, risk is part of life. What if something happens and some admiral tries to reassign me? You think I wasn't terrified those bastards on Orgrann would figure it Cally and I were involved? That would have given them immense leverage. We can't live like monks, and we can't tiptoe around and pretend we don't love one another. If your fear is one of you will be disappointed, I feel somewhat confident that wouldn't happen. If your fear is the Guild...." she paused, not wanting to be improper, but not knowing how else to put it. "If it were me, I'd say 'fuck them', but I'm not sure there's a context where that won't be misinterpreted. I also, though, have a flagrant disregard for being told 'no' so don't necessarily go by me."

"I'm not scared of the Guild, but I can't just tell them to fuck off." Michelle sighed, "I can resign from it whenever I want, they'll never force anyone to stay when they don't want to, it's part of the bylaws, otherwise it becomes straight up prostitution. It's just... They were there in my toughest time, after my mother died and after Drumpf Enterprises took me on. Without the Guild, I'd be back on Jovash as a common prostitute if I were lucky, or scrounging work or working the mines." She gave Kally a pleading look, "I actually enjoy my work, it's like being a counselor on board without the strictures surrounding it, helping people, even if I don't have much of a clientele aboard because of you and Aunt Cally. But what about the age gap?" She changed the subject, "God... He's old enough to BE my father, older than that,, what if he sees that as just too much to overcome? What if I do? I can't cut my ties with the Guild just to risk that, can I?"

"Not to dance around the point," Kally said, "but I think we both know his age has never really been an issue for either of us. And, let's be honest, we both know it hasn't lowered his vitality down one iota." She gave Michelle a pointed look, then sat back and sighed. "I was crazy about him when I first met him, this tall, strong-chinned, great-haired, super hot Academy Professor. His age never even entered into the equation." She gave a slight chuckle. "I can only imagine the look on my father's face if I told him I was dating a man older than him. I'd have paid real money to see Alex try to look him in the eye like that." She let out a laugh at the thought.

She put her cup down, scooted over, and put her arms around Michelle, hugging her gently. "I would never ask you to give up your life," she said. "But the more you try and talk yourself out of your feelings, the more they shine through." She kissed Michelle's temple and smiled at her, sadly. "I'm sorry if I've complicated things by bringing them up." She sighed and rubbed Michelle's shoulders. "It's a shame you can't be...I don't know...some kind of independent contractor or some such. Be allowed to simply run your own show with your own rules."

Michelle shook her head slowly, “It’s all right, I’ll be fine and… No, I’ll always either be all the way in or al the way out. Competing with the Guild is typically a losing scenario, brings in the worst types, the ones we’ve blackballed. The Guild may take fifteen percent of revenues, but the legitimacy it gives me? Within the Federation and on the outskirts, the influence by being associated with the Guild can get me into and out of places Starfleet may have issues getting into without complications. Where Starfleet and Federation is weakest? The Guild provides protections for Courtesans. No one wants to see a Guild Retrieval Team if one of us is known to be in danger, not on one of the border worlds. It hurts the world economy and leaves a mess.”

"Well, I'm all for avoiding a mess," Kally said, "despite all evidence to the contrary." She hugged Michelle again. "All right, so, in your professional opinion, can you keep an eye on Alex and make sure he has someone to express his feelings to without it adversely affecting your position or recertification?"

"I can do that." Michelle said after a hesitation, "He may be on his own for a week or more on Earth, but if I catch a trip on the Pearl, I can catch up to him after my work is done and..." She gave a slight smile, "Then get back to work. It may be a bit unethical, but I'm willing for that. Just... Don't ask how."

"Deal," Kally said. She smiled at Michelle and gave her a hug. "It'll all work out, and you will be back on Chimera where you belong in no time."

"And I'll make sure to bring Alex back in one whole piece with me."

 

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