The Most Awkward Hello (backpost)

Posted on Mon Aug 3rd, 2026 @ 1:36am by Captain Calypso Skyie & Lieutenant JG Jenna Jade & Ensign Azrael Vaux & Ensign Fiona McCarthy

4,580 words; about a 23 minute read

Mission: Die Hard: Chimera Edition (main)
Location: Holodeck 1, Deck 2

It had been a couple weeks since she had disembarked from the USS Manaia, and now she was on this Luna-class starship known as the USS Chimera. Fiona didn't waste any time heading straight up to the bridge; she wanted to check-in with her new captain, try to get out of this assignment, and demand that Starfleet give her a real assignment.

The doors to the turbolift swished open and a gush of air just poured out. Her first thought was that there must be something wrong with the environmental controls, because the cold, chill air filled the bridge. She looked from the Science Station to the captain's chair. "Where's the captain?"

The officer at the science station glanced over at Fiona, a sad look on his face as the Trill shook his head, “I’m sorry, Ensign, the Captain is not in her ready room at this time, but she leaves her badge in there. Right now, she’s on Holodeck One getting her ass kicked again by Lieutenant Jade in tennis. She did mention that there was a new officer coming aboard and told me to have you head down there to meet her.” His attention turned back to his panel.

How the hell could the captain be playing tennis? she thought to herself, as she could see that the ship was barely held together by duct tape. The environmental controls throughout the ship were a little off, but when she got on to the bridge she noticed it was slightly freezing. She was Irish; she was used to cold weather and warm summers, but she expected on a Starfleet vessel that the temperature would steady and constant.

"What's going on with the environmental controls?" Fiona asked, as she gently rubbed her arms, to try to keep them warm in her blood circulating properly. She wondered if this was a sign of how life was going to be on this chaotic ship, the next time she met the Admiral Towers, she was going to smack him upside his head. How dare he put her on this ship.

Azrael shrugged as he was asked the question. Newbies. They always had the notion that something was wrong with things. “Well, you don’t know the Captain yet, but when she’s on the bridge, she really doesn’t like to sweat. ‘It’s a bad look for a Captain to be all icky’.” He used air quotes with his fingers to let Fiona know he was quoting the Captain.

"Figures. I guess take me to holodeck one," Fiona asked, a little annoyed. As she looked around the bridge, she could tell that she wasn't the only misfit among this entire crew. She was starting to get an idea of why the Admiral really wanted her here, and she felt like she was not a babysitter.

“You want me…” he trailed off slightly, “to take you…” trailed off again, “to Holodeck One while I’m on bridge duty.” He finally turned to take a good look at the newcomer and stopped. Okay, she was cute, that was a given, but so far it wasn’t the best impression. Still, there were good odds that if he was conciliatory towards her that he might just stand a chance, if Lady Luck was on his side. “You know what? Sure, why not, it’s this way.” He gestured towards the turbolift, standing to his full height as they entered the lift, “Deck two,” he commanded, “You must be new to Chimera. I’m Ensign Azrael Vaux, Science,” he extended his hand to her.

"McCarthy, Security. Seriously, the captain doesn't like to be 'icky' so she lowers the temperature?" Fiona laughed out loud, more to process what he had just said to her. She thought to herself, 'the ick.' Babysitting the crew was one thing, but babysitting the Captain too? This was more than she asked for.

“She’s got her quirks, but she’s a good sort,” Azrael chuckled. “Very much into keeping crew morale up and succeeds rather well on it. She’s very laid back, and while we don’t see her all the time, it actually helps things run better when she isn’t watching over everyone’s shoulders.” He gestured out of the turbolift to the left.

Just great, she thought to herself. It meant that security was going to have to do all the babysitting since the captain couldn't be bothered and would rather play tennis all day long, apparently. "That sounds very chaotic," Fiona said simply, trying to hold back her annoyance with this situation.

She couldn't help but wonder where was the Starfleet that she was promised in the flyers and the brochures. Where was the structure, where was the organization? And what the hell was this Admiral thinking, putting everybody on this ship? Was this his way of maintaining order and peace by throwing all the misfits together on one ship? She had more questions than she had answers for, and she hated the fact that this mystery was going to consume her.

“You would think so, but in my time on board Chimera, which has been since she was brought back into service about a year and a half or so ago, I’ve seen a sixty-eight-point-eight-three percent increase in crew productivity, despite what you’d call chaos. Apparently a happy crew just functions better. You won’t find many people complaining about being assigned here anymore, at the least. ” He stopped outside the doors to Holodeck One, “Here we are, Ensign. Is there anything else I can do for you? Maybe take you to dinner later?”

"Seriously?" Fiona asked, slightly annoyed that he would choose this time to ask her out. She had to admit to herself it was kind of smooth, but she wasn't going to let him know that. She didn't seem to like being pursued, but deep down she did, which was a complete contradiction. The reason why it was a contradiction to her, was because she only wanted to be pursued by a guy she would be interested in, and it wouldn't be strictly based on looks. She would have to have that feeling, like there's something more like a universal connection between them. And she just met this guy, so she wasn't certain.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying to welcome a pretty girl on board, can you? I figured it was an even odds shot.” Azrael gave a chuckle and a smile to her. “No harm, no foul.”

"Convince me why we should go anywhere together. And don't tell me just because I'm the new girl on the ship and no pretty girl like me should sit alone. If you think those cheesy lines are going to work, I'm sorry," Fiona said in her cute strong Irish accent. She knew she was giving off raging bitch vibes at the current moment, but could he handle it, she wondered?

Azrael gave a half-hearted shrug. “Because if I don’t ask, I can’t get a yes, but every question not asked is automatically a ‘no’.” He took a half step back. “But seriously, no bullshit, if you wanted to have dinner or something with someone just to get a lay of the land or just someone to ask questions with, give me a comm call. No strings attached, nothing expected, just someone to talk to.”

Fiona just glance at him for a moment, before the doors to the holodeck opened up.

The doors opened to a cheering crowd as two women faced off against each other across a net. One bounced a ball against the ground as the umpire leaned in towards the microphone, “Forty-thirty, Match point.”

The young dark-haired woman tossed the ball in the air and with a mighty swing sent the ball rocketing towards the older blonde across the way. The blonde lunged at it, sending the ball high in the air with a forlorn groan, but the dark brunette only smiled as she moved in and tapped the ball across the net where it dribbled rapidly long before the other woman could approach the net to volley it back. The umpire made her pronouncement next: “Game, set and match: Miss Jade.”

As the blonde came over to the net, where Jenna Jade had her racquet tucked under an arm already, she shook her head, “I’ll get you one of these times, I swear it!”

“We’re at one hundred and twenty four matches to none, Cally,” They had a quick if sweaty embrace at the net, “And you dropped a couple extra games here. Ah think you should get some more practice in, not just spendin’ time with Kally. But, Ah’ve gotta get down to engineerin’, JJ wants to run a comprehensive test on the attitude thrusters in about an hour and Ah’ve gotta take a shower.”

“You go do that, and tell JJ that she’s to have you scrub out the plasma conduits, too! Wear you out by next week so I have a chance!” Calypso grinned at the young engineer.

“Absolutely, Cap’n.” Jenna shook her head as she walked to the door, noting the new Ensign that she’d resembled that year and a half ago, “Ensign, good mornin’, Ah tried to wear her out for you, so good luck.”

"I see, thank you." Fiona said, as she looked at Jenna for a moment. Then she snapped to the position of attention. "Ensign Fiona McCarthy, reporting for duty," she said, trying not to be a new idea that she was reporting in in the holodeck and not up in the captain's ready room. So far, she wasn't having a very good first impression with her captain, turning down the environmental controls because she didn't want to feel icky, and now meeting her on the holodeck where she's just lounging around having a good old time.

Cally had grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from her face before wrapping it around her neck, “Oh, by the Four, not another one…” Cally shook her head. “At ease, Ensign; we don’t need anyone with a stick up their ass right now, they hurt!” She grinned at Fiona widely. “So, you come from the Manaus, right? How is it over there, everything all organized just the way Captain Hightower likes it? Now, you want someone with a steel rod up his ass, that’s Hightower.”

"Manaia, Captain, and things were sufficient over there," Fiona said, quickly thinking of what word would best describe that ship. Her first reaction would be to tell her it was a total cluster fuck, but after spending a little bit of time on this ship, she wasn't sure if that description would now describe the Manaia. She didn't appreciate the stick-up-the-ass comment, but she also knew this probably wasn't the best time to start lipping off to the captain. She kept her answers short and direct, and more importantly to the point.

“Re-laaaaax, Fiona.” Calypso drawled out, then glanced around, “I’ve got an idea. Computer: load program Skyie-One-Six.” The surroundings melted away and reformed into a resort swimming pool with attached hot tub. “This is better.” Cally tossed the towel to the side and started her way over towards the changing room, tossing the visor off to the side and starting to pull off her shirt, “Get changed and comfortable, Fiona, we’re going to be here a while, may as well work on a tan while we’re chatting.” She vanished into the changing room.

Fiona was dumbfounded. What the hell is going on? She looked around, obviously this was some type of vacation holodeck program. "Captain, this is highly inappropriate. I am ready to work, so can you please explain to me why you want me to lounge with you in the holodeck?" she asked, noticing that the captain had left. She growled underneath her breath slightly.

"Computer, I need a swimsuit. Scan my measurements and replicate an appropriate attire for this setting," Fiona called out to the computer. After a few seconds, a swimsuit materialized in her hands. "Where did you go captain?" Fiona asked, as she started ahead towards the locker room. She followed the captain's path, within a few seconds she was entering the locker room.

Fiona started to change into the swimsuit. She took off her uniform, thinking to herself this was completely ridiculous. It was a standard swimsuit that was a little too revealing for her comfort. She pulled out her scrunchies and retightened them to be able to handle the water. She didn't know how the chlorine was going to affect her hair, and she wasn't very pleased by it, but, at the moment, there was nothing she could do about it.

Fiona walked back out, covering herself with a beach towel as she returned to the pool area. She kept the towel snug tightly over her chest. She wasn't a prude, but she didn't think it was very appropriate to have her tits sticking out. She met her captain for the first time or in this case the second time.

A couple minutes later, Calypso exited with a pair of light sunglasses on, the only thing she wore aside from the bright red bikini that accentuated her figure. Her hair was still in the ponytail she had while playing, but she grinned broadly, “Much better!”

"Is this really necessary, Captain?" Fiona asked, thinking since she's in her swimsuit this wasn't a really a formal affair, so maybe she wouldn't get in trouble for being a little disobedient. And if she was, at this moment she didn't really care because she felt embarrassed to be walking around with a swimsuit and a beach towel covering it up.

“Required? Probably not, but much better than a stuffy uniform, don’t you think?” Cally asked, sauntering over towards Fiona and glancing over her with a moue of disappointment that she was all covered up, but that was her prerogative too. She picked out a lounge chair and laid herself down on her back. “So, why did you get sent out here? I know we’re headed back to the Federation right now, but nobody gets sent to me and Chimera without having committed career suicide, and you aren’t fresh out of the Academy.”

"Is this how you meet all your officers under your command? And to answer your question, it was Admiral Towers, he ordered me. Apparently your ship needs a babysitter." Fiona said. She fell a little warm underneath the holographic sun rays. She realized she wasn't getting out of this, so she took off her towel and then placed it on the chair next to the captain's and then laid on top of it covering up her front half, laying on her stomach.

That got a reaction out of Calypso where nothing else had so far, her head snapping over towards Fiona and her sunglasses lowered so she could get a better look at her. “Admiral Towers sent you?” She asked rhetorically, “The Four know that he has been trying to sink my career ever since I came back from Perseus and Captain Larson didn’t.” She threw herself back on the chair. “But only a babysitter this time? One of the other people he sent to me was supposed to spy on me and report back, but he saw the odds against me and realized that it was a better deal to help me than undercut me. Towers is full of shit, he just can't handle the fact that I’ve taken this ship and turned it into an actual productive starship.” She looked over at Fiona again, “Did he tell you anything about me or how Chimera was when I was first given command?”

"No he told me that he personally chose me because of my unique organizational structure. He believes that it would benefit the Chimera. I pointed out to him that I didn't want to assignment. He pointed out to me that Starfleet was a volunteer organization, that I could resign at any time, but as long as I was a Starfleet officer, I would go where I was told to go." Fiona said to Cally, noticing that the captain had her sunglasses slightly tilted down and looking at her. She wasn't sure, but if she had to guess she was thinking that the captain was trying to evaluate her. "I'm not a spy and I'm not a snitch. I just want to serve in Starfleet. I want to do my job and do my duty. I want to protect the Federation's interests, and Starfleet's interests. "

“In other words, you have a highly intense sense of organization and the inability to tone down your impulses to make sure everything is in its right place?” Calypso helpfully translated the Admiral’s observations, “And he sent you to me wondering which would happen first: Me tossing you out an airlock because you becoming too annoying, or you shooting me because I’m easily the least organized person in Starfleet and I have no intention of changing.” Cally’s smile was one that didn’t blame the Ensign there with her. "I think I know just where I can put you that may satisfy both of us, if you’re willing?” She ended on a querying note, “Besides, you’re too cute to toss out an airlock, that bikini looks just about right on you.”

"Captain." Fiona said, feeling instantly sexualized. Despite what the Captain had said it didn't really cross the line. But it was very borderline. "I'm afraid to ask where you want to put me?" she said as she covered her chest and tried to wrap to towel around her chest.

Cally leaned back in the chair again, sliding the sunglasses back into place to look upwards. "I know you're a security officer and this may be in addition to that, but you would make an excellent yeoman for me. Someone to keep my paperwork in order and to make sure I stay on top of all of it, too. It's a fair amount of work, but I think you'd be up for it."

"You're joking right?" Fiona asked, expecting her to start bursting out in tears laughing her ass off. For the life of her she couldn't even figure out why her Captain would even suggest such a notion to her. Granted, a yeoman does organize all the chaos, but that's not something she signed up to do. On the other hand it would give her a complete access to the captain's records, and put her on a command track, but that was not something she was truly interested in at this stage of her life. And, she couldn't help but shake the feeling, that the captain was just picking on her again.

“Why would I joke around like that?” Cally asked, settling into the lounge chair, “I just see a round hole and a round peg and want to try to match them up.” She grinned skywards at the double entendre. ”You can say no, I don’t force anyone to go out of their comfort zone just to fit in. This isn’t an order or anything, just something I think you’d be good at is all. You’ll find on Chimera that things aren’t as strict and by the book, because out where we’ve been, doing things that way is the easiest path to getting ourselves killed. It’s a wild place, the unknown, so we learn to adapt.”

"If I may be as equally blunt, it feels like you want me to be your yeoman so you can keep a better eye on me. As I said I am no snitch for the Admiral. But if you do feel like you could use a little organization in your chaos and if you really feel like you could use a yeoman. Then yes, I'll be willing to try it out. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to take the job and have you push me around. I take every job seriously, and we can talk about this adapting later. But if you truly need structure and organization, Captain, then perhaps it could be beneficial to both of us. As you said, let me learn to loosen up and open up to the wild frontier. Maybe in a small way I can help structure some of the chaos around you, I guess around both of us. This might be a better idea than my first day on the job, which was to clean every single rifle in the armory. Before you ask if I was joking, I wasn't." Fiona said realizing she was just rambling, but she wanted to get everything out of her mind, she wanted to get it all out before she fumbled over her own words.

Calypso tapped the side of her head, “One benefit of being a Betazoid is that the first time you said you weren’t a spy? I believed you. If I genuinely thought you were here purely on behalf of Towers, I’d have just told Mark, the Chief of Security, to give you mundane and truly boring tasks such as, like you said, cleaning every rifle in the armory, or scrubbing out the brig with a toothbrush, or any sort of awkward but technically-dutiful task.” She glanced to the side, “I even know you’re not all that thrilled about the prospect from your emotions. But, as my yeoman, you’ll be in a unique position to know what’s going on regarding the ship before most of even the senior staff; it’s a position where you can basically decide whether or not I succeed in my job. I’m not the most organized Captain, I’ll admit, and despite Commander Espersen trying to teach me how to be, I’m afraid it’ll never catch. Besides, this gives me an excuse to have a fully trained security officer at my side, so no one can complain that when I go on an away mission and that I’m taking too many risks.”

Fiona give the deep sigh. "The chief of security is right, you shouldn't be taking the risk. I wouldn't mind cleaning the armory, but I will admit that scrubbing the deck with the toothbrush might be a little bit too much for my impulsive behaviors to tolerate." Fiona said hoping to wash down her resentment towards that idea, and trying to be a little comical but just feeling barely. She took a short breath and then continued on. "However you are right; by having me around, your chief of security cannot complain too much, and to make sure that he can't complain I will continue with my certifications and practice on the holodeck from time to time. As far as keeping organized and clean, I can definitely do that."

“What sort of Captain would I be if I didn’t run off towards the first sign of danger?” Cally asked in a fake-outraged voice, “You’ll find it’ll be a lot less work than you’re thinking, after you get things in place initially. And you’ll have more opportunities to do things like this with me! Resting, relaxing in the sun, activities, you’ll have fun as my personal aide. And if you really want to have some fun…” The Captain’s voice turned rather quite suggestive.

"Captain, that is highly inappropriate. But why am I not surprised!" She said trying to pretend like she sounded super annoyed. Part of her was flattered. It explained in her mind why earlier the Captain had checked out her breasts. For once, Fiona was a little speechless. She was not expecting the conversation to go at this direction. From the outside it look like Fiona just stopped like her memory card was trying to process what she had just heard. Her first initial response was more generic. She was having a hard time processing the fact that the captain had just propositioned her. And she was not sure how she felt about that. Part of her was intrigued but then another part of her, was not interested in being a plaything for the captain. She also didn't want to get a reputation for being a plaything and sleeping her way to the top. Part of her was intrigued. Damn it. Why did this woman have to get in her head? she thought to herself. She must have looked ridiculous just laying there speechless and not sure what to say next.

Calypso scissored her legs and got to her feet with a smile on her face. Fiona hadn’t moved and the woman in the red bikini leaned down and gave Fiona a kiss on the forehead, ‘inadvertently’ (intentionally) giving her a good look down the bikini top, “That didn’t sound like a ‘no’ to me, ‘but not a ‘yes’ yet. Think on it, Fiona McCarthy,” The Captain turned and started to sway her hips as she walked towards where the arch would form, “There’s no rush, I’ll see you in the morning.” She said in a sing-song voice, the doorway to the corridor materializing in front of her. “And make sure to go see Doctor Kellerman, we want to make sure all of our new arrivals are in good shape.”

Fiona did not think it was possible to make her even more speechless as she already was. But the Captain, treating her like a little pet. Her first reaction was: they're nuts. Her second reaction was: who the hell does this woman, think she is? She quickly forgot about the fact that she was in a bathing suit, and she demanded the arch stay open and she chased after the captain. "I can start today, Captain." She had forgotten to change back into her uniform and she left her towel in the holodeck, as she chased after the captain in her bikini.

Cally stopped as she turned back to see the redhead following her and smiled. She herself was used to walking her halls like this, certainly Fiona wasn’t, “Tomorrow will be just fine, Fiona, get settled into your quarters today and we’ll get started in the morning tomorrow. See the Doctor. In fact…come with me.” She gestured with her head, heading towards the turbolift, summoning it and stepping in as soon as it arrived, beckoning Fiona in with her. “Deck seven.” The turbolift hummed to life.

"Where are we going Captain?" Fiona asked, she hated this chaotic approach by the captain. This proved to her, that the Captain did need her services. She hated being ignored, she could see the smirk from Cally's face. She continued to follow her, being mostly annoyed at being ignored.

As they left the lift, Cally smiled at one of the crewmembers that was there when she left the doors, conveniently blocking sight of the Ensign behind her, then guided the redheaded Ensign to the main medical doors and grinned. “Go ahead, let Kally know I sent you.” Cally grinned, “Then get settled and we’ll start tomorrow, all right?”

 

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